Calling All Artists!

Calling all artists! Looking for a creative way to express your artwork while enjoying some time spent outdoors with your family? Well, we have the perfect opportunity for you to express your artistic creativity through sidewalk chalk and a slab of concrete!

Family Builders is hosting its second annual chalk art festival, "Chalk the Walk" in just a few short weeks. Just like last year, the event will consist of chalk art competitions for all ages and skill levels; provide family-friendly kids activities; and excite families with access to many different food venues and the enjoyment of live music!

All those great aspects of "Chalk the Walk" have stayed the same, however we do have one major change - our location! This year, we are so excited to be holding this chalk event on the Plaza, in the Plaza Arts District in OKC from 10 am to 2 pm on Saturday, June 15th, 2013. Looking for something fun to do with your dad? That's perfect, because this event is Father's Day weekend.

Admission to this fun event is FREE to the public, while artists can register to participate in the competition for just $20 or for $30 to create artwork as a family. To register for the event, click here !

Or, you can sign up to simply volunteer for part of the day. There is a volunteer opportunity for everyone! See all our volunteer opportunities here !

Whether you come to simply enjoy the day, to participate in the art competition, or as a volunteer, we can't wait to see you there! So come on out and join us for "Chalk the Walk," and spend the day with your dad or just with family and friends!

All proceeds from the event will directly benefit Family Builders, further benefiting our mission of strengthening families in order to prevent child abuse and neglect, and other family violence.
www.familybuildersok.org
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@FamBuildersok on Twitter

Words of Encouragment...

I was reminded this morning by a close friend just how discouraging parenting can be for those who have children with special needs. Parenting can be hard enough, but parenting a child or multiple children who suffer from any number of disabilities, I can only imagine, is not only frustrating but heartbreaking at times. This friend of mine has four children, her oldest son with autism, and two of her three young girls that have learning/physical disabilities. Her life is filled with the ups and downs, joys and sorrows, of not just struggling with parenting four children, but managing their disabilities as well.

So today, this blog is dedicated to offering words of encouragement - not just to parents of children with disabilities, but especially to parents of children with disabilities. However, I am certain that any and every parent can gain some appreciation and encouragement from this post as well.

As I am not a parent of a child with any type of special needs, it is difficult for me to give any advice or encouragement on this issue. Therefore, I will defer to some of the experts in the field and provide you with links and advice from people and parents who manage childhood disabilities every day.

First, I would like to provide you with 10 different links to parenting blogs, specifically designed and written for and by parents with special needs children. In these blogs, mothers and fathers lament, share, and brag about their children, despite their struggles. My hope is that each of you will find encouragement from these other parents and maybe be inspired to start your own, or contribute to a current blog on this topic:
http://www.hopefulparents.org/
http://specialneeds.5minutesformom.com/
http://supportforspecialneeds.com/
http://mamatude.blogspot.com/
http://momnos.blogspot.com/
http://www.lovethatmax.com/
http://www.shutupabout.com/blog/
http://www.schuylersmonsterblog.com/
http://www.winterramblings.blogspot.com/
http://www.wrightslaw.com/blog/

What these blogs offer, is probably the most encouraging item: You are not alone! You are not the only parent who has one or more children with disabilities or special needs. You do not need to parent alone in this journey either. Your child is a blessing, but that doesn't mean that you will not struggle or feel discouraged at times. Take heart that there are other parents like you out there and find a support system or group that you are able to bounce parenting ideas, tips, and stories off of. This small thing can make a huge difference in helping you to parent your special needs child/ren in a way that both of you will thrive. Here is a great article from the "National Information Center for Children and Youth with Disabilities."
http://www.familyvoices.org/admin/work_caring/files/nd20.pdf

I hope you will find encouragement in this article that will help you to feel as if you can conquer all things and help to encourage your child in their development. "Focus on the Family" also has a wonderful series for parents of children with special needs that recognizes that each child has been "fearfully and wonderfully made," each with individual skills and talents. It also offers mechanisms and tactics for coping with this special parenting challenge, gaining encouragement when you feel isolated as a parent with a disabled child, dealing with the needs of that child's siblings, and much more. Find the short series here: Focus on the Family

Lastly, here is a great tip sheet from www.helpstartshere.org that offers parents suggestions and facts for dealing with this particular parenting challenge. The tip sheet specifically targets understanding and addressing the emotional dynamics of parenting special needs children.

I hope that within these links you will find some encouragement, whether you have a child with special or not. Finding support among other parents is key and it is so important to remember that you are not alone in your parenting struggles, battles, and successes!

Enjoy the week and enjoy your kids!
www.familybuildersok.org

Child Abuse Prevention Continues...Even Beyond April

Well, summer is almost here. Your children are almost done with school and the month of May is coming. Literally, the month of May starts tomorrow. As most of you know, here at Family Builders and all across America, April is Child Abuse Prevention Awareness month and its various activities have been in full swing. Of course, it is so important to prevent child abuse and promote its awareness all year long - not just in the month of April.

Child abuse doesn't stop just because it is the first of May and CAP month is over. It doesn't stop because organizations like Family Builders exist and try to spread the word to create awareness. Child abuse can only end when the whole world is united in a common goal of spreading the news about child abuse, knows the signs, and hears the facts about the horrors and cruelties of child abuse all across the country and all over the world.

Because today is the last month of April, I wanted to share a few inspirational videos with you to help you spread the word about child abuse prevention in your own life and among people that you know. The more we help to spread the word, the more people will become aware of the problem, and maybe, just maybe, we can all help to make child abuse go away:

Child Abuse Prevention PSA

Together We Can Prevent Child Abuse & Neglect

Effects of Child Abuse in Oklahoma

For more information on child abuse awareness and prevention or if you know of a child that is being abused, or a family that is in crisis, please visit our website and get in contact with us: www.familybuildersok.org

Spread the word, share these videos, and help to prevent child abuse not just in April, but in all 12 months of the year, 365 days of the year!

Child Abuse in Oklahoma : Statistics You Need to Know

So, last week I shared with you some facts and signs of child abuse and neglect. I hope that many of you out there - whether you are a parent, a teacher, a child care worker, or just someone who spends most of their days with children or have children that are near and dear to your hearts - found some of what we discussed helpful and feel armed and ready to identify and report abuse if you see it.

Today, I would like to share with you some of the facts and statistics from the Oklahoma Department of Human Services fiscal year report and findings on child abuse and neglect. You can read their report yourself at http://www.okdhs.org/NR/rdonlyres/3961E199-D87F-446E-9B95-123442A69EE5/0/S12091_ChildAbuseandNeglectStatistics_cwsoprs_01012013.pdf
The fiscal year runs from July 2011 through June 2012. As of today, we are almost to the end of the next fiscal year, which will end after June 2013. Therefore, some of this data is a little outdated, but still important to consider until the next report brings us the most up-to-date data.

So, last year OKDHS received 68, 111 reports on families and determined after stringent screening that 32, 421 reports had allegations that met the definition, as outline by the state of Oklahoma, of abuse and neglect. These required investigation. That means that 48% of reports of abuse were determined to be abusive situations.

In Oklahoma County alone there were 6,540 accepted cases alone. That is 17.9 cases accepted every single day. Which means that the state total was 88.2 allegations per day that met the definition of abuse last year in the state of Oklahoma.

These are staggering numbers! In order for you to apply the knowledge, facts, and signs that we discussed in last weeks blog, we at Family Builders think it is extremely important for you to understand what the numbers of abuse look like in our state. These are children - your children, our children, children you know, friends of your own children - from all demographics, all types of households and religions, that are being abused every single day in this state. That is so sad! But you can prevent it. Remember to know the facts, and recognize the signs. You can refer to our website for advice or call if you need to report a case of abuse! www.familybuildersok.org

Remember, abuse happens every single day. Stay informed!
Enjoy the week and enjoy your kids!

University of Oklahoma's "Big Event" Comes to Family Builders

Last Saturday, the University of Oklahoma sent a group of student volunteers from their "Big Event" day team, to help add a fresh layer of white paint to the walls of Family Builders.

OKCgood.com covered the event for us and provided a little bit of video coverage for the day. Check it out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtp3BTAMoBE

Learn the Facts, Know the Signs: Prevent Child Abuse

The month of April is all about child abuse prevention and awareness. At Family Builders, we are all about child abuse prevention and awareness. In the Oklahoma County, there are 84 children every day who will be reported as suspected victims of child abuse. Merriam-Webster's online dictionary defines abuse as:

"physical maltreatmeat"
"a corrupt practice"
"improper or excessive use"
"language that condemns or vilifies unjustly and angrily"
"to use as to injure or damage"
"to attack in words"

All of these definitions can be applied to the abuse of a child. This abuse can happen in homes all across the world, in all demographic areas and geographic regions; among educated and uneducated; rich or poor; among members of all religions. Child abuse is everywhere.

As a parent, aunt, uncle, cousin, older sibling, teacher, nurse, day-care center worker, etc. it is extremely important for you to be aware of the facts of child abuse and know the signs in children that are victims of abuse. Below, I have included a few links to some really helpful and useful websites that can educate you about the facts of child abuse and neglect.

http://www.kidpower.org/abuse-prevention/
http://www.joyfulheartfoundation.org/childabuse_learnthefacts.htm?gclid=CKCMmPG2z7YCFceDQgodWDYA0A
https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/signs.cfm

Here at Family Builders, we want you to help your families avoid the painful scars of child abuse. If you are or someone you know is abusing their child, or you suspect you know a child that is the victim of child abuse, please get in touch with us. Visit our website at www.familybuildersok.org
Our fact sheet has been provided below: Learn the Facts, Know the Signs. Help keep your children and all children of Oklahoma safe. Enjoy your kids!

Recap of Family Builders' "Walk a Mile" Luncheon

To help us kick off Child Abuse Prevention Awareness Month, last Thursday, April 4th, Family Builders held its first child abuse awareness and prevention luncheon, call "Walk A Mile in Their Shoes." This inaugural event's mission was to allow people of all walks of life, demographics, nationalities, and professions to have the chance to "walk a mile" in the shoes of an individual who may have suffered abuse, suffered due to abuse, or found themselves in the position of abuser. The luncheon was held at the Oklahoma History Center and catered by Running Wild catering services. Here is the link to a great video that www.okcgood.com did for us, re-capping our luncheon:

http://youtu.be/1zTuGMigzWA


Family Builders' mission is to strengthen families in order to prevent child abuse and neglect and other family violence. Our goal is to educate families so that they are able to protect themselves from abuse in all forms. The purpose of our first "Walk a Mile" luncheon was to inform members of the community of the vast amounts of child abuse that occur each day in their city, while showing them that Family Builders is strategically positioned to help families who have fallen victim to abuse. However, without the support of the community, what Family Builders does each day would be almost impossible. This luncheon allowed our organization's voice to be heard and our message to be spread to those individuals sitting in the room.

Our hope is that those individuals who attended and participated in the luncheon will carry our message of what we do as well as our mission, to those people that they know and interact with each day. These individuals as well as their peers and the people they know, are our community - and community involvement is key to protecting children and families from abuse. Spreading the word and keeping our community informed on the signs of abuse, the statistics of abuse in our state/area, and knowing how and where to report all types of abuse will be a major factor in helping Family Builders to achieve abuse prevention.

Thank you to all who attended the luncheon! We are so thankful for your support and the message that you will be spreading for our cause. If you missed the luncheon, but would still like to be involved in supporting or volunteering at Family Builders, visit our website at: www.familybuildersok.org

Our next community event will be Saturday, June 15th, over Father's Day Weekend. Uur second annual "Chalk the Walk" chalk art festival and competition will be held in the Plaza Art District this year, including a whole bunch of family-friendly activities, chalk art competitions for all ages and talents of artists, and fun food and music! Stay tuned to our social media for more info!

www.facebook.com/familybuildersok
@fambuildersok on Twitter

Again, thank you to everyone for their support and attendance. We look forward to seeing more of all of you. Remember, spread the word - help us prevent child abuse and neglect! Enjoy your week and enjoy your kids!

April is: Child Abuse Prevention Awareness Month

April is such a neat month here at Family Builders. April is the national Child Abuse Prevention Awareness Month, and underlines the purpose of all that we do here at Family Builders. Preventing child abuse and neglect, while prohibiting and negating all types of family violence is our mission and the basis for all of the core values that we uphold.

Being aware that child abuse does indeed happen in your town, your community, and sometimes in the homes of people that you know and love, can be very powerful in helping to prevent that abuse. April is a month about promoting this awareness so that the community and individuals can prevent it or stop the abuse from ever occurring in the first place.

Here in Oklahoma City, the annual CAP Day at the Capitol, hosted by Smart Start OKC,is being held tomorrow, April 3rd, at the Oklahoma City Capitol building. This event is held each year to help encourage community involvement and seek out legislators, in order to encourage them to continue to make a difference in the lives of Oklahoma children. The event is the official kick off for the month of April and Child Abuse Prevention Awareness. The national color of the month is blue, so be sure to wear some blue tomorrow, April 3rd. Here are a few links for more info on CAP Day at the Capitol
http://www.smartstartok.org/blog/cap-day-capital
http://www.ok.gov/health/Child_and_Family_Health/Family_Support_and_Prevention_Service/Office_of_Child_Abuse_Prevention/Child_Abuse_Prevention_Awareness/
http://www.okdhs.org/library/news/rel/2012/03/cfsd03292012.htm

Even though April is the "official" month of child abuse prevention awareness, it is important to remember that these cruelties to children happen 365 days a year, every day, everywhere - not just in April. Educate yourself and others about these tragedies and do your part to report and recognize the signs of child abuse, in your own children and in others'.

Be aware that child abuse and neglect IS currently happening. This abuse spans every demographic, geographic area, and occurs in various shapes and forms. Make your communities, your work places, your churches, your social clubs, and your children all aware that child abuse and neglect is occurring all around them. Education of these horrors can help to prevent them. Help us to protect Oklahoma children, by knowing the facts and the signs of child abuse.

www.familybuildersok.org

Hug those kids tight and protect them always! Have a great week and wear blue all month long!

Family Values

Today's blog topic is extremely important and can be somewhat daunting to take hold of and incorporate into your daily lives. We all have them, we all grew up with them - family values. All families are different and many families' values are different. However, the most important thing to remember is that establishing family values for your family is extremely important for the health and development of your children. It is also very instrumental in establishing family norms and healthy relationships both inside and outside of the family.

The concept of "family values" can often be described as political and social beliefs that hold the nuclear family as a unit of society (Wikipedia.org). Sound confusing? I think so. Merriam-Webster's online dictionary defines "family values" as "values especially of a traditional or conservative kind which are held to promote the sound functioning of the family and to strengthen the fabric of society." This definition is a little more clear. Basically, family values can be considered the moral code by which you and your family operate; what you believe; how your kids behave; what you treat as right and wrong; and overall how your family operates in society.

Still confusing? Well, a family value is something you and your family define for yourselves. Respect can be a family value. You respect the opinions of your children, but they must be respectful to you because you are the parent and authority. You and your children are in turn, respectful to others in society. This is a family value - a pretty good one, I might add. Another example? The schooling of your children. Your family may value a homeschooled education, or a private school education. Your family might feel that public schools are the best education your children can receive. Or, your family value might be that no matter what type of education your children are getting, the important thing is to work hard in your education and learn all that you can. This is an example where a family value might vary, and none of these values about education are wrong - they are just different depending on the family. 

Family values also involve establishing right from wrong; moral verses immoral behaviors; your religious or non-religious beliefs; how you treat others; honesty; forgiveness; traditions, etc. They are rules and ideals that you and your family agree to live by. While these may seem mundane, or that you already have them established by default, remember that it is very important to make sure that you have routine family values that you and your children are both aware of.  If every family member can agree on and work toward your family's set of values, this will make for a happier home with better inter-family relationships. These values establish an understanding of what is expected by each family member and allow for children to be nurtured along in these values by parents who are also striving to maintain the same family value while parenting. Values create a mutual understanding among everyone and help kids to develop psychologically, mentally, and even physically. 

Here is an excellent link to an article about defining family values: http://www.parentiq.com/news/definingyourfamilyvalues.asp

Parenting can be difficult, but establishing a set of family values can help you along. When these values are established as a norm, you have a bar set for some of the ways in which you parent. These rules, ideals, and traditions help to define your family and can help to define your parenting as well.

Remember, family values must be positive, not negative and be emphasized around love and caring for one another. Enjoy your week and enjoy your kids!

Ringing in Spring!

Well, it's the beginning of Spring...that means warmer weather, clear skies, and of course....tornadoes here in Oklahoma! However, in between the tornadoes and hopefully rain, we will begin to see glimpses and days of warm weather and beautiful sunshine. I don't know about you all, but I start to get excited for all the Spring activities and outside adventures to be had as the warmer weather starts to come around the corner.

So, let's start to think about ringing in spring and how to gear up for being active with your kids this spring and summer. It is so important that you encourage your children to spend time outdoors as the weather permits. Being outside means they are running around, breathing fresh air, and just generally learning to entertain themselves. This is  not only great for their health and development, but provides an opportunity for you as a parent to be outside as well.

Though the weather may be touch and go for the next couple of weeks, when you can take the opportunities to go outside with your family and do something active. A healthy lifestyle is so important, and one of the first steps to being healthy is getting outside and moving around, breathing clean air, and getting your heart rate up - a simple evening or lunch time walk with your family will do the trick. Plus, if your children are outside playing hard, they may sleep better at night then if they sat inside all day playing video games, watching TV, or laying around on the couch. Encourage your family to play outside more as spring makes its first approach.

Plus, there is a TON to do outside in the Oklahoma City Metro area. Below, I have included the link to the OKC Parks Guide. This guide is full of outside activities at the Bricktown Canal, the Myraid Botanical Gardens, the Martin Park Nature Center, and lists many of the lakes and swimming pools in the area: http://www.okc.gov/parks/documents/2011parksguidelowfinal.pdf
Parks are a great way to entertain your family, while being in the outdoors.

Here's another great link with 50 FREE activities in the Metro area. Some are indoors, but most are outdoors and all of them are FREE and a ton of fun: http://www.travelok.com/article_page/50-free-things-to-do-in-oklahoma

This article is for the big adventurers in the group. It outlines 17 ideas for spring and summer activities with your kids. It includes everything from horseback riding, hiking and rock hopping, to exploring nature trails and state parks all over the state of Oklahoma: http://www.travelok.com/article_page/outandaboutwiththekids

Here is a small list from FamilyFriendlyAmerica.com, that includes a  few activities to do all over the state of Oklahoma: http://www.familyfriendlyamerica.com/oklahoma.html

And of course, Metro Family Magazine offers a weekly and monthly calendar of both paid and FREE events that are constantly going on in the Metro area and beyond. We post this calendar every Friday with the weekend activities, however here is a direct link to the Metro Family Magazine calendar: www.metrofamilymagazine.com/Calendar

I hope each of you are able to find activities among these resources that will appeal to you and your families. Be sure to keep an eye out on the Family Builders' Facebook and Twitter pages (@fambuildersok) for more family-friendly spring and summer activities. Enjoy your week and enjoy your kids!

Tips for De-stressing - Because Parenting CAN be Stressful!

So, raise your hand if you are parent. Now, raise your hand if you, at times, find parenting to be stressful. Yep, that's what I thought. I'm sure every single one of you has your hand up. Parenting IS stressful at times, and it has nothing to do with not loving or caring for our children, or not wanting to be a parent.

Let's face it. We love our kids. We want to do everything in our power to give our kids everything they need and then some. We bend over backwards to get them from one activity to another; we money crunch to buy them that new gift for their birthday that they have been longing after; we take the time out of our busy days and lives to talk with them, spend time with them, and be close to them. We love our kids. We love being parents. But......all that love, all that time, and all that money crunching can sometimes be very stressful. And guess what? Stressed out parents can negatively effect our children's attitudes, behaviors, and general morale. So, parents, here are some tips for de-stressing and some resources for learning more:

Remember, as a parent, you need lots of sleep. So do your best to get 8 hours of sleep each night. Eating healthy will also help you to feel better and help you sleep better.

Take walks, whether early in the morning before your day gets started or during the day over lunch. Even just 10 minutes of walking a day is great. Walking will help you to relax, calming your mind while stimulating relaxation. You can also try exercises like yoga or stretching.

Some helpful tips for keeping from stressing over household situations can include being well organized and structuring your day. This doesn't mean taking on a military lifestyle, but instead having a plan in place for what you need to accomplish. Set goals for the day that you know are attainable.  An orderly lifestyle will help to keep you stress free. Also, make a budget and stick to it. If you know how your money is being spent, you will better be able to keep track of it and help your kids learn how to spend money wisely as well.

Other de-stressers can be as simple as soaking in a warm bath while your kids are at school. Listen to music that you enjoy while you are driving, cleaning, doing dishes and laundry or other household chores. Calling a close friend or relative to chit-chat with about your parenting stress and exchange ideas. It can also be helpful to join a mom's or dad's group, where the group can share parenting tips, challenges, and ideas. Being connected with other parents, who all have some type of parenting stress, can be the best way to rid yourself of stress.

All of these tips and more can be found at: http://www.baby-toddler-parenting-stepping-stones.com/parent-de-stressing.html

Additionally, here is another great website on helping parents to cope with stress and strategies for success: http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Parenting_coping_with_stress

Remember, it is normal to feel stressed about parenting issues. No parent is stress-free all the time. However, take the time to take care of yourself and practice good actions that will help you to be more stress free. Enjoy the week and enjoy your kids!

Talk to Your Teens - Open the Lines of Communication

It's a brand new week! I'm sure each of you have a lot planned with children, work, school, projects, shopping for groceries, other household needs, and who knows what else. Your lives are busy and your kids' lives are busy! It may seem like all you do is run, run, run....run, run. Oh, the life of a parent.

However, even with all the hustle and bustle in your life, remember that it is so important to take the time to communicate and spend quality time with your child(ren) each day. Quality time can be something as simple as eating breakfast together, or tucking them in at night and spending a few minutes talking to them about their day before they fall asleep. We have talked about this before: communication with your children is extremely important. It helps with their development and maturity, and encourages them to be open and honest with you.

This is especially important for parents and their teenagers. From my experience, teenagers are the least willing to communicate and spend any type of quality time with their parents. Unfortunately, teenagers often need this quality time, attention, and communication more than we realize. During the teenage years, your children are more apt to spend most of their time outside the home. Whether they are at school, participating in sports or other activities, or hanging out with friends, they generally spend most of their time away from the house. It is so important to take the time each and everyday to share a few minutes with them to just chat, talk, discuss, and share opinions. Ask questions that require your teenager to answer with more than a "yes" or a "no." Encourage them to converse with you.

Take advantage of times when you are in the car together, or standing in line at the supermarket or other stores. Capturing your teenagers time can be difficult, so it is important to take advantage of the small moments that you do have together. Never, ever stop trying to make time to have conversations with them - they may push back, or try to avoid the time, but be gently persistent. They need you as a parent, even if they don't act like it.

Here are some tips from HealthyChildren.org on how to communicate with your teenager.
1. Really listen to them. Let your teenager get his or her thoughts in. Listen and really engage in the conversation with your child. Make them feel as if what they have to say is truly important. Ask questions that prompt more conversation and refrain from giving advice until your child has finished speaking.
2. Look at your teen when the two of you are talking. When your teenager comes to you to talk, stop what you are doing, put down what you are reading, and give them your full attention. This is so important.
3. Don't interrupt. Let your teen have their say. Teach them respect by giving them respect when speaking.
4. Watch your tone - use a respectful one, just like you expect from them.
5. Ask questions that elicit further conversation.
6. Repeatedly reassure your teenager when they come to you with a problem.
7. Keep a watchful eye and notice when your teenager needs to or wants to talk, but doesn't know how to approach you. Know your child's moods and behaviors and this will help you be alert to your child's needs.
To read all of these great tips and more, visit http://bit.ly/165Vd2X

Here are some other great websites that can be excellent resources for helping you to open the lines of communication with your teenagers:
http://bit.ly/p1LtjL
http://bit.ly/12rdcBS
http://bit.ly/IY48Jb

And of course, we here at Family Builders are always willing to lend you a helpful and informative hand. Get in touch with us at www.familybuildersok.org

Have a great week and enjoy your teenagers!

Raising Up Kids Who Love One Another - Sibling Love

Well, the snow didn't hit the Metro area here in OKC as hard as they predicted, but I hope all of you who were snowed on yesterday and last night stayed safe and warm. If you are getting to enjoy a day away from work or school, spend it doing activities with your kids, instead of catching up on housework, shopping, or other tasks that can be put off. Time with your children is so important, so cherish the days when you get to spend extra time with them. Bundle up, go build a snowman or snow fort, or enjoy doing games, puzzles, and crafts inside in the warmth.

Today's blog topic focuses on raising up siblings who love each other and get along. Some of you moms and dads out there may only have one child, but many of you probably have more than one, which means you have the challenge of not just raising a child or two, but raising children who get along with one another and love each other like friends. This can be so difficult. Differences in ages, personalities, dislikes, interests, and many other variables can make it really difficult for siblings to care for one another and get along as playmates and friends. As the oldest of 5 children, this was particularly evident in my household. The clash of personalities and ages sometimes made agreeing or getting along an extremely difficult task.

However, as a parent it is your job to be a role model for your children. Your children will mimic your behavior with a spouse, mother/father, or partner. If you and the other adult in your household or involved in your life are not getting along, then you can expect that your children will not get along with one another either. If you show love and respect to the other adults in your life, your children will learn to copy that behavior in showing love and respect to their siblings and friends.

Here are some tips from http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/raising_happiness /post/siblings_how_to_help_them_be_friends_forever, from parents just like you:

1. Treat all your children fairly. This doesn't mean treating all your children, in every situation exactly the same; it means treating them in a manner that they see as being differentially fair. Show similar levels of praise, affection, and discipline - this will cause respect among siblings and steer clear of arguments involving who is "loved" or "liked" more by mom and dad. Spread your love around!

2. Emotion coaching is really important. Teach your kids how to identify, monitor, and evaluate their emotions and behaviors involving their siblings. In this way, kids are able to identify how their buttons are pushed by siblings, and keep their anger, annoyance, and negative attitude in check before they make a loud or angry outburst.

3. Give your kids positive play experiences. As a parent, provide opportunities for sibling interaction that encourage playing together or collaborating on a task. Provide time each day where your kids can play together in a comfortable or fun setting that will promote getting along and positive attitudes.

4. Think twice before intervening on a conflict. Unless there looks like there will be violence, blood, or a severe injury, try to let your kids work out their conflicts on their own. Coaching them through a conflict they appear unable to negotiate through is fine, but especially for teenagers, allowing them to work through their own problems will help them to better develop skills for problem-solving as an adult and allow them to grow closer through working towards a resolution.

Be sure to check out more of this Berkley study on raising up loving siblings. Another great resource for this topic is a 'Chicago Parent' blog. You can see their 8 ideas for siblings getting along here: http://www.chicagoparent.com/magazines/chicago-parent/february-2011/features/how-to-get-siblings-to-get-along

These 8 steps include:
1. Don't compare siblings to one another
2. Stay out of the way - let them work through their own problems as long as it does not involve violence
3. Attitude is everything - be positive
4. Provide activities and opportunities
5. Provide joint chores that encourage them to work together
6. Conversations - encourage siblings to talk with one another
7. Take vacations as a family - or small, local day trips
8. Remember that just because they are fighting as kids, does not mean this will carry over into adulthood - coach them now on how to get along, even if they won't stop fighting for the time-being - remember they ARE kids!

Hope this blog post has been inspiring and will help you to help your children get along with one another and love each other like best friends. Enjoy your week and enjoy your kids!

Love What You Do - Being a Parent!

Another week, another struggle...right? Being a parent can sometimes be a daunting task, knowing that each day you may face multiple parenting difficulties, including temper tantrums, cleaning up numerous messes, rebellious teenagers, vomiting and sick kids, talking back, and any other parenting challenges. Oh the joys! I imagine for many of you, these daunting challenges can at times over take the joys and blessings of being a parent.

So, today I would like to encourage each and every one of you parents out there to love what you do. No I am not talking about your career choice, the church you go to, the activities you participate in - while all of those things are worth loving and enjoying, what I want you to focus on is learning to love being a parent. Love what you do, and what you do, is parent. Sound confusing? Of course you love being a parent, otherwise you wouldn't have had children, right? Of course you love your children, that's what parents! Well, yes and no. Maybe your children were unplanned, perhaps you have a rebellious teenager who makes loving him or her on the tough days extremely difficult, or maybe you sometimes feel as if life without children would have been easier, less complicated. Loving being a parent may be more difficult than you realize, and yet it is SO very important.

Loving your kids may seem like a no-brainer, but kids are challenging, testing your patience, your positive attitude, and yes, sometimes even your love. However, loving your children is the most important part of your job. As a parent, your every action, every word spoken, every act of discipline must be expressed with love as the foundation. Your children are so impressionable, even as rebellious teenagers, that you must find a way to express love in all the things that you do. Make it a priority to speak, act, and think "love" at all times. Be willing to sacrifice, be willing to face the frustrations head on, and be willing to raise your kids in a way that they too, will express love to their own future children and those around them.

Now, let's talk about you, as a parent. Loving being a parent will take work. It will take a conscious effort to get out of bed each day and willing yourself to have a positive attitude. It will take smiling when you feel like frowning, laughing when you feel like crying, using soft words when you feel like yelling, being positive when you feel like being negative, and a whole other list of negative attitudes and feelings that you will need to turn into positives. If you are able to get out of bed each morning with a positive attitude towards your kids, towards yourself, and towards how the day's events and activities are going to play out, you will teach yourself how to love being a parent and eventually this positive attitude and love towards being a parent may come naturally.

You must love what you do, you must love being a parent. This can be so hard! We at Family Builders understand and recognize this. We want to help. Our Family Careline is always accessible, 24 hours a day at 405-848-2273. If you ever are feeling discouraged, need parenting advice, or simply need a friendly voice to bounce a parenting idea off of, feel free to call.

We want you to love being a parent, no matter what your previous experiences were, how you were raised, or how you were treated as a child. We want you to love and protect your children; nurture and teach them to love, and enjoy every step of the parenting process. We want you to love what you do!

For other parenting questions, advice, tips, or for help, please contact us at Family Builders. Our phone number is 405-232-8226 or visit our website at www.familybuildersok.org
You can also follow us on Facebook, https://www.facebook.com/familybuildersok, or on Twitter, www.twitter.com/fambuildersok.

So this week, work on loving what you do. Focus on loving your kids and enjoying being a parent. Enjoy your week and enjoy your kids!

A Family-Fun Valentine's Day!

Yes, I know...it's that made-up, kind of silly, kind of romantic holiday that rolls around every February 14th. Happy Valentine's Day to all. Now remember, you don't have to celebrate Valentine's Day, or even have a "valentine" to spread and celebrate love. In fact, all through my dating and even most of my engaged and now married years, I have always preferred ignoring the "normal" Valentine's Day traditions (i.e. flowers, chocolate, romantic dates, etc) in favor for a more laid back, fun and quality time kind of Valentine's Day. 

Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with all of those things, and if that is how you choose to celebrate Valentine's Day, then have at it and I hope if makes you feel loved and cherished. For me, and for many of you, I think some of these suggestions will be more up your alley for how to spend a fun Valentine's Day evening and perhaps weekend. So, find your kids, read some of these fun ideas and activities that are going on in the Metro area this evening and take a vote as to how you are going to spend your Valentine's Day:

- Okay, so today at 1 pm in Yukon there is the Yukon Chocolate Festival! Who doesn't love chocolate? It only costs $8 to enter the festival and that is good for 8 different samples of chocolate. Here's the address: Robertson Activity Center
1200 Lakeshore Dr
Yukon, OK

- Tonight is also Family Fun Night at JumpZone. For $25 dollars, 2 adults & 2 children can get in, get one large pizza, and a 2 liter bottle of pop! Sounds like a great way to spend some time as a family. More info here: http://jumpzoneparty.com 

- How about the Hugs & Fishes Valentine's Day Dinner, tonight starting at 6:30 pm at the Oklahoma Aquarium. Registration is required, so get on your phone or their website now! 918-528-1503 or http://okaquarium.org/

 - Check out the Chocolate Extravaganza at the Warr Acres Library this evening from 6:30 to 8 pm. This event is FREE!

More info on these events can be found at: www.metrofamilymagazine.com/calendar

Are you on a tight budget and would prefer to just make a special meal at home for your family tonight? Check out these great recipes below:

1. Valentine's Day Strawberry Muffins....yuuum!
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Valentines-Day-Strawberry-Muffins/Detail.aspx

2. Valentine Meatballs...so cute
http://allrecipes.com/recipe/valentine-meatballs/detail.aspx?event8=1&prop24=SR_Title&e11=valentine%27s%20day%20dinner&e8=Quick%20Search&event10=1&e13=A%3aSearch%20Results-List%28control%29&e7=Article%20Hub

3. Valentine Pizza
http://allrecipes.com/recipe/valentine-pizza/detail.aspx?event8=1&prop24=SR_Title&e11=valentine%27s%20day%20dinner&e8=Quick%20Search&event10=1&e13=A%3aSearch%20Results-List%28control%29&e7=Article%20Hub

4. Easy Oreo Truffles for dessert!
http://allrecipes.com/recipe/easy-oreo-truffles/detail.aspx?event8=1&prop24=SR_Title&e11=valentine%27s%20day%20dinner&e8=Quick%20Search&event10=1&e13=A%3aSearch%20Results-List%28control%29&e7=Article%20Hub

Ten more great recipes for kids on Valentine's Day here! http://www.parenting.com/gallery/easy-valentines-day-recipes-kids?pnid=132155

Well, if you are staying in for the evening, how about a fun "at home" activity that you can do as a family? Here are some fun ideas:

Cute and creative Valentine's Day cards for your kids to give out. Look at some examples here:
http://spoonful.com/valentines-day/valentines-day-cards

More cute and creative crafts on this website from moms and dads just like you:
http://www.savvymom.ca/index.php/guides/valentines-day

I hope today's ideas will inspire a creative and fun Valentine's Day celebration for you and your family, no matter how you choose to celebrate. The most important thing to remember is, expressing love should not just occur on this day each year. You should show and tell your kids and your family that you love them, every day, each day of the year! Enjoy today, enjoy your week, and enjoy your kids! Chao ya'll!

Let Your Words Speak "LOVE" the Loudest!

Well, it's February ya'll and you know what that means?! Love is in the air! While the very thought of Valentine's Day and mushy gushy, romantic love may be enough to make you roll your eyes and sigh a large sigh of contempt for a holiday that is focused on roses, cards, gifts, and romantic dinners...never fear! Today, we are going to talk about the kind of love that doesn't need the excuse of Valentine's Day to be used every day in every moment.

I am writing to you about love, not because I want to talk to you about romantic love, but about the kind of love that families share; the adoration and sacrificial love you have for you children; a love that would drive you to lay your life down for your family; a love that is faithful, forgiving, and most of all unconditional for your children and those around you. Love is such an important factor in our lives and in our childrens' lives. Love can be expressed through actions, through gifts, through time spent together, but most of all, through the words you speak everyday, in every moment.

Your children cling to every word you say. They remember these words, they repeat these words, and they learn to speak the same words that you speak. If your words are constantly harsh, demeaning, hateful, and crude, your children will express these same words to themselves, to their peers, and eventually back to you. How horrible it would be if we set an example to our children with words that DO NOT exude love and show how much we care about them and others?

I once read a quote that stated that "children are great imitators. So give them something great to imitate." I'm not sure who said those wise words, but think about it for a moment. Your children are constantly watching and listening to you. They will imitate your actions and imitate your words. Why would you want to give them words and actions that are unloving and unkind to imitate? Doesn't make much sense does it? Your words are a powerful resource for your children. They come to you to hear words of affirmation, words of encouragement, and most of all words of love. Recognize that your words have the capacity to speak 'love' the loudest, but that also means your words have the capacity to speak 'hatred' the loudest as well.

Find a way to practice kind words of love to your children, your spouse or partner, and even to yourself. Learn to be uplifting and encouraging with your words - express positive statements that build your children and others up, and leave unkind words unsaid. Isn't that the golden rule? "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say it at all." This "rule" may seem kind of silly, but really these words are important words to live by. Your children need you to affirm that they are important, that they are special, and that they are loved. Let your words express this love in every moment, even when their behavior is disrespectful or unloving. Find a way to express love through your words even then.

Let your words speak 'love' the loudest this February and Valentine's season. You don't have to celebrate or recognize Valentine's Day to express love through your actions and your words every day. Have a great week and enjoy your kids!

Make Protecting Your Children A Resolution for 2013

This is a serious topic: Protecting Your Children. Yes, we've been lighthearted about making some 2013 resolutions that stick. Giving back, volunteering, and spending more time with your family have all been suggested as some resolutions that are worth keeping around and striving for during the year 2013. However, the topic of protecting your kids requires some serious consideration and attention.

At Family Builders, our mission involves being advocates for victims of child abuse and domestic violence while building strong families through parental and community education. It is time for you to make our mission, your mission and protect your family and children from the dangers of violence, abuse, and neglect. Protecting your children is one of the most important jobs that you have as a parent. For more information on our mission and values, as well as the ways that Family Builders can help you protect your children, visit our website at: www.familybuildersok.org

There are several key areas that one must consider when actively protecting your children. Here are a few that I am going to focus on: child, sexual abuse, internet safety, and bullying. Obviously, there are other areas in which life might be dangerous to your child and this is where common sense parenting comes in. It is always important to teach your kids "stranger-danger," never get in the car, talk to, go into the house of, or leave with someone your kids don't know, NO MATTER WHAT and NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY! Other safety discussions you might have with your kids can include looking both ways before they cross the street; wearing a helmet when playing some sports; never taking or eating food from a stranger; gun safety (a big topic of debate in our country right now); teaching your teenagers about riding safetly in a car with other teens; the dangers of drugs and alcohol, etc. As a parent, take the time to consider how you will relay these, and other important topics to your children, regarding their safety.

Another important area of consideration for keeping your kids safe is internet/cyber safety. Teenagers and young children alike now have almost constant access to the internet and the dangers that so often lurk with every click of the mouse. It is so important that you are monitoring the choices your teenagers make in internet searches and keeping a close eye on what information and internet access all of your children have when getting on the computer. Here is a great article to help you as a parent teach your kids and get them involved in, internet safety: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/18/fbi-keeping-kids-safe-online_n_1978611.html

Of course with recent events of bullying and school shootings, many parents are asking themselves, "How do I keep my kids safe at school?" Well the answer to that question is never an easy one. New gun laws and school board decisions will determine regulations that will be put into place to keep our children safe from guns in the future. You can always discuss with your kids the importance of gun safety and how you feel your children should respond if they are faced with the possibility of there being a gun in their school or classroom.

While the above topic can seem out of your control to some extent, one area of school safety that you can DEFINITELY help your children with, is bullying. Bullying is a huge problem in all schools these days and as a parent, you need to ensure that your child is not BEING a bully and help them with some tactics for avoiding being bullyed at school. Here are some websites that might help you with this task:
http://kidshealth.org/kid/grow/school_stuff/bullies.html
http://www.stopbullying.gov/index.html
http://www.bced.gov.bc.ca/sco/resourcedocs/keeping_kids_safe/keeping_kids_safe.pdf

However, the major topic related to keeping your child safe that I would like to bring to your attention in today's blog is protecting your kids from sexual abuse and sexual predators. Child abuse must be stopped, but it is often hard to explain this topic to your children without scaring them. First, it is important to find out what your children already know about sexual abuse (for your tweens and teenagers) and how much they can't understand (for your younger children). Teaching your kids to respect theirs and others' bodies and re-enforcing appropriate touches and explaining inappropriate touches will be extremely important in helping your younger children to understand and be aware of sexual abuse and predators. Here is what you can do to protect yourself and your children:

Know What to Look for in Sexual Abuse

-Look for adults who are very helpful or alluring

-Look for adults who exhibit peer-like play with children – plays with children as a child would play

-Look for adults with no adult friends and would rather spend time with children

-Look for adults who play tickling games or roughhouse with children

-Look for adults who are immediately accepted into the family

-Look for adults who refuse to accept boundaries set by you or society

Watch Out for their Excuses

-They may attempt to paint circumstances as a misunderstanding:

“She was trying to put on her bathing suit and needed help.”

“He complained of being sore. I was just checking him to make sure he was ok.”

-They may try to use medical reasons as an excuse:

“He felt like he had a temperature. I was just checking him. I wasn’t doing anything wrong.”

-They may try to defer blame:

“Her parents never did like me. They are just saying these horrible things about me to keep me away from their children.”

-They use personal hygiene as an excuse:

“I was giving him a bath. I wasn't doing anything wrong.”

-They may use sex education as an excuse:

“She was just curious and asked me some questions. I was explaining the birds and the bees.”

"He asked me a question and didn't understand what I said, so I was just showing him."

 Protect Your Children

-Talk to your kids

If you are uncomfortable, remember you aren’t talking about sex, you are talking about personal safety. Use other safety topics to lead into sex if you need to.

-Read to your kids

Sit down and read about safety or simply have a discussion if you don’t have a book on safety.

-Listen to your kids

Try not to dictate, preach, or demand when you speak to your kids. These are all negative ways to communicate with your children. Children need to able to tell you their feelings and thoughts.

-Teach your kids

Tell your children to trust their feelings and instincts and tell them it is ok to say no to adults and be rude to adults to protect themselves. Teach them about “good touch” and “bad touch.” Bad touch is where their bathing suit covers them.

-Watch your kids

Kids often forget about the dangers that surround them. Keep an eye on them at all times and know where and what they are doing. 

Oklahoma state law requires any citizen to report suspected or witnessed child abuse.  You may do so by calling local law enforcement or the Child Abuse Hotline  (1-800-522-3511).  For more information on keeping your kids safe, check out some of these websites:
http://www.kidpower.org/abuse-prevention/?gclid=CK7-iJD4jbUCFQhyQgod33wAJQ 
http://family.go.com/parenting/pkg-teen/article-783417-keep-your-child-safe-from-predators-t/ 
http://www.highlightsparents.com/everyday_dilemmas/how_can_i_keep_my_kids_safe_without_making_them_fearful 

Make it a priority this year to educate your children about the world's dangers and teach them how to keep themselves safe. Make keeping your kids safe the most important resolution of 2013. Enjoy your week and enjoy your kids!

Make Volunteering A New Year's Resolution

Well, since the great Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s weekend and holiday just passed, I thought it would be appropriate to begin today's blog with a few of the famous and ever-inspiring quotes from Dr. King: 

"...the time is always right to do the right thing." -Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

“Life's most persistent and urgent question is, 'What are you doing for others?” -Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

As a man of service with a heart for people, Dr. Martin Luther King inspired the greater good of human nature to emerge. He was a man of faith, of persistence, and most of all perhaps, of servant-hood. Today, I would like each and every one of you to allow Dr. King to inspire you to do something for the greater good this week and this year. Volunteering, though a word that often makes people moan and groan, is so important to the development, establishment, and maintenance of a growing community.

Many of you may already volunteer your time, your skills, and your money to help others, but let me challenge you to make volunteering a regular part of your routine in 2013 - a resolution so to speak. Going hand-in-hand with our blog from last week regarding 'giving-back,' volunteering is a form of 'giving back' that always takes some of your time, and more often than not takes some of your talents. However, the joy you can gain from volunteering and the hope and love you can inspire in others, especially children, through your volunteer work, should be more than enough of a reward for you to continue in your efforts.

As we spoke of last week, volunteering can come in all sorts of forms, shapes, and time allotments. You can volunteer once a day, once a week, or once a month - all of these volunteer moments will be valued. Volunteering can occur at schools, parks, city halls, libraries, local non-profits, for special events, etc. Any time, any place - there is always a volunteer need.

At Family Builders, like so many other non-profits agencies in our area, we are always looking for volunteers to come in and share in the joy we have in educating families and protecting Oklahoma children. Our volunteer coordinator is always recruiting new help and wants you to be a part of our journey. For more information on volunteer opportunities at Family Builders, or to get in touch with our volunteer coordinator, visit: http://www.familybuildersok.org/get-involved.html

Thank you for all you do and all you are going to do for others this 2013! Below, I have provided you with various links to volunteer guides for the Oklahoma City metro area and beyond. Enjoy the rest of the week and....Happy Volunteering!

http://www.volunteerguide.org/
http://www.volunteermatch.org/search/orgs.jsp?r=msa&l=Wanette%2C+OK+74878%2C+USA
http://oklahomacity.craigslist.org/vol/
http://flyokc.com/Volunteering.aspx
http://www.rmhcokc.org/contact/volunteer

Make 'Giving Back' a New Year's Resolution

Well it's that time again....you've made it through Monday, it's half way to Wednesday, and the week has really only just begun. However, that's okay because a full work week gives you one more week to exercise your new found New Year's resolutions and make them a priority each and every day. Last week, we discussed making 'love' and putting your family first, a priority for the new year. If you forgot to make love a priority yesterday, never fear! You have an entire week still to accomplish that resolution.

Today, I would like to offer you a second resolution to add to your list of priorities in the year 2013. That resolution is simply: 'giving back.' Now, what do I mean by 'giving back'? Some of you may be concerned that I am asking for you to give financially and you may feel uncomfortable with that notion. You may feel as if you have little to give. However, while giving financially, whether it is to your church or an organization or non-profit with whom you identify with their goals and mission, there are many other ways to 'give back' to your community, your church, your neighborhood, and yes, even your family. Giving back is a multi-dimensional concept that allows you to utilize your gifts, your talents, and your time to help and respond to the needs of others.

An important life lesson to remember is, that no matter how tough your life may seem, or how awful the struggles are that you are going through, there is always someone out there who may be facing greater challenges than you are. Even if you think your struggles are similar to others, there is no greater way to take the focus of your own troubles, than by helping others. Therefore, pull yourself up and find a way to have joy in your surroundings and a way to help others in need.

So, first let's talk about financial 'giving back,' since that may seem like the most obvious and perhaps the most uncomfortable way to 'give back' for many. Often, giving back in a financial way can simply mean tithing at church, donating to a local organization or non-profit, buying lemonade or a consumable item from a stand or restaurant with an intended purpose, or helping a neighbor or friend who may be in financial trouble. These are all ways to give to others through financial means.

However, you can also 'give back' through your time. Time is a valuable entity, both to yourself and to others. Often, a giving of your time for another person can mean the world to them. 'Giving back' through time can be as simple as helping out a neighbor by mowing their lawn or shoveling snow from their sidewalk, volunteering at your child's school or another organization, helping out the elderly with their groceries, or even taking the time to read to your child each day. Time, while still a difficult commodity to give away, is often an easier item to volunteer than your money.

Now, let's talk about 'giving back' with your talents. Your talent can be anything you are good at. Perhaps reading to a class at a local school, knitting or sewing hats and gloves for soldiers, or baby blankets for the local YWCA shelter. Perhaps you are a fabulous cook, so you can make a meal for a local homeless family, or a member of your church who is ill or having a rough week. Maybe you are a real handy-man, so your talent is best utilized at a local business, non-profit, or shelter that is in need of repair and 'fix-it' type jobs. These are all talents, along with many more, that can help you to 'give back' in 2013. Often the giving of your time and your talent, go hand-in-hand, but doing something that you are good at and enjoy, can make it feel as if you are not giving of your time at all.

Lastly, let's discuss 'giving back' to your family. While it is extremely important to help others, give back to your community, support your church, and respond to needs outside the home, it is also utterly important that you are meeting needs within your own home, among your own family members, and 'giving back' to those you love. As a mom or a dad, this concept of 'giving back' to your family, may seem like an everyday task. This is true, but it is important to go the "extra mile," so to speak, for your children and/or significant other. Find extra things to do that spend time with your children, outside your normal routine. Take the trash out for your spouse if that is normally their job, clean up the kitchen before they get home from work, plan surprise outings and functions as a family. These are all ways that can make your family life stronger, allow for quality time to be spent with one another, and encourage a 'giving back' attitude among all family members.

'Giving back' is a concept that we all groan about. It means sacrificing something of ours for the good of others and this can be an inconvenient and sometimes scary thing to do. However, you may find that once you have accomplished an act of 'giving back' you will feel delighted. You will feel that you have added value to a person or a place, and that in turn will add value and joy to your own life. Make 'giving back' a resolution that sticks in 2013. Set an example for your kids by beginning your 'giving back' now and encourage them to join in.

Keep an eye on our Facebook and Twitter, @fambuildersok for some tips and opportunities on giving back this week! Enjoy the week and enjoy your kids!

Make New Year's Resolutions that Should Stick!

Happy Monday and Happy New Year! Many of you may have returned to work last week and some of you may be returning to work this week. Either way, here's to hoping that each and every one of you was able to spend quality and enjoyable time with your children, express love and caring in a new way, and find a way to celebrate the holidays with joy despite your current situation, struggles, and of course, blessings.

2013 is a brand new year, for everyone. As is so often popular, many of you may have set new goals, new resolutions for getting this new year kicked off in the right direction. Your resolution may involve losing weight, exercising more, getting outside more, achieving that illusive pay raise or promotion, or perhaps you'd like to make more of an effort to find free time for a new activity. As we all know, these resolutions are made with great intentions, but often fall to the wayside a few weeks into the year. Often time, energy, or expenses associated with this new goal get in the way and life quickly returns to its normal, 2012 pace.

This year however, this 2013, I would like to encourage each and every one of you to stick to a new resolution. However, I would like your resolution to be focused around strengthening your family, loving your children, and creating a family environment free of violence, abuse, and neglect. At Family Builders, we make this cause our mission, and with your help, we are hoping to continue to serve Oklahoma families and protect Oklahoma children in the year 2013.

We would like each one of you to focus on a goal that might help you to better love your spouse, better care for your children, and better express love and care for your family members. Make it your priority to find a BETTER way to do something, anything that might allow your family to flourish and grow in love. Here are some suggestions for resolutions:

-Make time to have one on one time with each of your children once a day
-Strive to ask more questions and inquiry into your children's lives
-Focus on encouraging words both for your children and your spouse
-Find an alternative disciplinary action, besides spankings, that might teach your child why their actions were wrong
-Strive to control your anger

These are just a few suggestions for 2013 resolutions that may be able to help you fulfill your family's goals and learn to love in new ways. Give your children a hug today and enjoy them the rest of the week! Happy 2013 and Happy New Year!