Well, the snow didn't hit the Metro area here in OKC as hard as they predicted, but I hope all of you who were snowed on yesterday and last night stayed safe and warm. If you are getting to enjoy a day away from work or school, spend it doing activities with your kids, instead of catching up on housework, shopping, or other tasks that can be put off. Time with your children is so important, so cherish the days when you get to spend extra time with them. Bundle up, go build a snowman or snow fort, or enjoy doing games, puzzles, and crafts inside in the warmth.
Today's blog topic focuses on raising up siblings who love each other and get along. Some of you moms and dads out there may only have one child, but many of you probably have more than one, which means you have the challenge of not just raising a child or two, but raising children who get along with one another and love each other like friends. This can be so difficult. Differences in ages, personalities, dislikes, interests, and many other variables can make it really difficult for siblings to care for one another and get along as playmates and friends. As the oldest of 5 children, this was particularly evident in my household. The clash of personalities and ages sometimes made agreeing or getting along an extremely difficult task.
However, as a parent it is your job to be a role model for your children. Your children will mimic your behavior with a spouse, mother/father, or partner. If you and the other adult in your household or involved in your life are not getting along, then you can expect that your children will not get along with one another either. If you show love and respect to the other adults in your life, your children will learn to copy that behavior in showing love and respect to their siblings and friends.
Here are some tips from http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/raising_happiness /post/siblings_how_to_help_them_be_friends_forever, from parents just like you:
1. Treat all your children fairly. This doesn't mean treating all your children, in every situation exactly the same; it means treating them in a manner that they see as being differentially fair. Show similar levels of praise, affection, and discipline - this will cause respect among siblings and steer clear of arguments involving who is "loved" or "liked" more by mom and dad. Spread your love around!
2. Emotion coaching is really important. Teach your kids how to identify, monitor, and evaluate their emotions and behaviors involving their siblings. In this way, kids are able to identify how their buttons are pushed by siblings, and keep their anger, annoyance, and negative attitude in check before they make a loud or angry outburst.
3. Give your kids positive play experiences. As a parent, provide opportunities for sibling interaction that encourage playing together or collaborating on a task. Provide time each day where your kids can play together in a comfortable or fun setting that will promote getting along and positive attitudes.
4. Think twice before intervening on a conflict. Unless there looks like there will be violence, blood, or a severe injury, try to let your kids work out their conflicts on their own. Coaching them through a conflict they appear unable to negotiate through is fine, but especially for teenagers, allowing them to work through their own problems will help them to better develop skills for problem-solving as an adult and allow them to grow closer through working towards a resolution.
Be sure to check out more of this Berkley study on raising up loving siblings. Another great resource for this topic is a 'Chicago Parent' blog. You can see their 8 ideas for siblings getting along here: http://www.chicagoparent.com/magazines/chicago-parent/february-2011/features/how-to-get-siblings-to-get-along
These 8 steps include:
1. Don't compare siblings to one another
2. Stay out of the way - let them work through their own problems as long as it does not involve violence
3. Attitude is everything - be positive
4. Provide activities and opportunities
5. Provide joint chores that encourage them to work together
6. Conversations - encourage siblings to talk with one another
7. Take vacations as a family - or small, local day trips
8. Remember that just because they are fighting as kids, does not mean this will carry over into adulthood - coach them now on how to get along, even if they won't stop fighting for the time-being - remember they ARE kids!
Hope this blog post has been inspiring and will help you to help your children get along with one another and love each other like best friends. Enjoy your week and enjoy your kids!
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Love What You Do - Being a Parent!
Another week, another struggle...right? Being a parent can sometimes be a daunting task, knowing that each day you may face multiple parenting difficulties, including temper tantrums, cleaning up numerous messes, rebellious teenagers, vomiting and sick kids, talking back, and any other parenting challenges. Oh the joys! I imagine for many of you, these daunting challenges can at times over take the joys and blessings of being a parent.
So, today I would like to encourage each and every one of you parents out there to love what you do. No I am not talking about your career choice, the church you go to, the activities you participate in - while all of those things are worth loving and enjoying, what I want you to focus on is learning to love being a parent. Love what you do, and what you do, is parent. Sound confusing? Of course you love being a parent, otherwise you wouldn't have had children, right? Of course you love your children, that's what parents! Well, yes and no. Maybe your children were unplanned, perhaps you have a rebellious teenager who makes loving him or her on the tough days extremely difficult, or maybe you sometimes feel as if life without children would have been easier, less complicated. Loving being a parent may be more difficult than you realize, and yet it is SO very important.
Loving your kids may seem like a no-brainer, but kids are challenging, testing your patience, your positive attitude, and yes, sometimes even your love. However, loving your children is the most important part of your job. As a parent, your every action, every word spoken, every act of discipline must be expressed with love as the foundation. Your children are so impressionable, even as rebellious teenagers, that you must find a way to express love in all the things that you do. Make it a priority to speak, act, and think "love" at all times. Be willing to sacrifice, be willing to face the frustrations head on, and be willing to raise your kids in a way that they too, will express love to their own future children and those around them.
Now, let's talk about you, as a parent. Loving being a parent will take work. It will take a conscious effort to get out of bed each day and willing yourself to have a positive attitude. It will take smiling when you feel like frowning, laughing when you feel like crying, using soft words when you feel like yelling, being positive when you feel like being negative, and a whole other list of negative attitudes and feelings that you will need to turn into positives. If you are able to get out of bed each morning with a positive attitude towards your kids, towards yourself, and towards how the day's events and activities are going to play out, you will teach yourself how to love being a parent and eventually this positive attitude and love towards being a parent may come naturally.
You must love what you do, you must love being a parent. This can be so hard! We at Family Builders understand and recognize this. We want to help. Our Family Careline is always accessible, 24 hours a day at 405-848-2273. If you ever are feeling discouraged, need parenting advice, or simply need a friendly voice to bounce a parenting idea off of, feel free to call.
We want you to love being a parent, no matter what your previous experiences were, how you were raised, or how you were treated as a child. We want you to love and protect your children; nurture and teach them to love, and enjoy every step of the parenting process. We want you to love what you do!
For other parenting questions, advice, tips, or for help, please contact us at Family Builders. Our phone number is 405-232-8226 or visit our website at www.familybuildersok.org
You can also follow us on Facebook, https://www.facebook.com/familybuildersok, or on Twitter, www.twitter.com/fambuildersok.
So this week, work on loving what you do. Focus on loving your kids and enjoying being a parent. Enjoy your week and enjoy your kids!
So, today I would like to encourage each and every one of you parents out there to love what you do. No I am not talking about your career choice, the church you go to, the activities you participate in - while all of those things are worth loving and enjoying, what I want you to focus on is learning to love being a parent. Love what you do, and what you do, is parent. Sound confusing? Of course you love being a parent, otherwise you wouldn't have had children, right? Of course you love your children, that's what parents! Well, yes and no. Maybe your children were unplanned, perhaps you have a rebellious teenager who makes loving him or her on the tough days extremely difficult, or maybe you sometimes feel as if life without children would have been easier, less complicated. Loving being a parent may be more difficult than you realize, and yet it is SO very important.
Loving your kids may seem like a no-brainer, but kids are challenging, testing your patience, your positive attitude, and yes, sometimes even your love. However, loving your children is the most important part of your job. As a parent, your every action, every word spoken, every act of discipline must be expressed with love as the foundation. Your children are so impressionable, even as rebellious teenagers, that you must find a way to express love in all the things that you do. Make it a priority to speak, act, and think "love" at all times. Be willing to sacrifice, be willing to face the frustrations head on, and be willing to raise your kids in a way that they too, will express love to their own future children and those around them.
Now, let's talk about you, as a parent. Loving being a parent will take work. It will take a conscious effort to get out of bed each day and willing yourself to have a positive attitude. It will take smiling when you feel like frowning, laughing when you feel like crying, using soft words when you feel like yelling, being positive when you feel like being negative, and a whole other list of negative attitudes and feelings that you will need to turn into positives. If you are able to get out of bed each morning with a positive attitude towards your kids, towards yourself, and towards how the day's events and activities are going to play out, you will teach yourself how to love being a parent and eventually this positive attitude and love towards being a parent may come naturally.
You must love what you do, you must love being a parent. This can be so hard! We at Family Builders understand and recognize this. We want to help. Our Family Careline is always accessible, 24 hours a day at 405-848-2273. If you ever are feeling discouraged, need parenting advice, or simply need a friendly voice to bounce a parenting idea off of, feel free to call.
We want you to love being a parent, no matter what your previous experiences were, how you were raised, or how you were treated as a child. We want you to love and protect your children; nurture and teach them to love, and enjoy every step of the parenting process. We want you to love what you do!
For other parenting questions, advice, tips, or for help, please contact us at Family Builders. Our phone number is 405-232-8226 or visit our website at www.familybuildersok.org
You can also follow us on Facebook, https://www.facebook.com/familybuildersok, or on Twitter, www.twitter.com/fambuildersok.
So this week, work on loving what you do. Focus on loving your kids and enjoying being a parent. Enjoy your week and enjoy your kids!
Thursday, February 14, 2013
A Family-Fun Valentine's Day!
Yes, I know...it's that made-up, kind of silly, kind of romantic holiday that rolls around every February 14th. Happy Valentine's Day to all. Now remember, you don't have to celebrate Valentine's Day, or even have a "valentine" to spread and celebrate love. In fact, all through my dating and even most of my engaged and now married years, I have always preferred ignoring the "normal" Valentine's Day traditions (i.e. flowers, chocolate, romantic dates, etc) in favor for a more laid back, fun and quality time kind of Valentine's Day. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with all of those things, and if that is how you choose to celebrate Valentine's Day, then have at it and I hope if makes you feel loved and cherished. For me, and for many of you, I think some of these suggestions will be more up your alley for how to spend a fun Valentine's Day evening and perhaps weekend. So, find your kids, read some of these fun ideas and activities that are going on in the Metro area this evening and take a vote as to how you are going to spend your Valentine's Day:
- Okay, so today at 1 pm in Yukon there is the Yukon Chocolate Festival! Who doesn't love chocolate? It only costs $8 to enter the festival and that is good for 8 different samples of chocolate. Here's the address: Robertson Activity Center
1200 Lakeshore Dr
Yukon, OK
- Tonight is also Family Fun Night at JumpZone. For $25 dollars, 2 adults & 2 children can get in, get one large pizza, and a 2 liter bottle of pop! Sounds like a great way to spend some time as a family. More info here: http://jumpzoneparty.com
- How about the Hugs & Fishes Valentine's Day Dinner, tonight starting at 6:30 pm at the Oklahoma Aquarium. Registration is required, so get on your phone or their website now! 918-528-1503 or http://okaquarium.org/
- Check out the Chocolate Extravaganza at the Warr Acres Library this evening from 6:30 to 8 pm. This event is FREE!
More info on these events can be found at: www.metrofamilymagazine.com/calendar
Are you on a tight budget and would prefer to just make a special meal at home for your family tonight? Check out these great recipes below:
1. Valentine's Day Strawberry Muffins....yuuum!
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Valentines-Day-Strawberry-Muffins/Detail.aspx
2. Valentine Meatballs...so cute
http://allrecipes.com/recipe/valentine-meatballs/detail.aspx?event8=1&prop24=SR_Title&e11=valentine%27s%20day%20dinner&e8=Quick%20Search&event10=1&e13=A%3aSearch%20Results-List%28control%29&e7=Article%20Hub
3. Valentine Pizza
http://allrecipes.com/recipe/valentine-pizza/detail.aspx?event8=1&prop24=SR_Title&e11=valentine%27s%20day%20dinner&e8=Quick%20Search&event10=1&e13=A%3aSearch%20Results-List%28control%29&e7=Article%20Hub
4. Easy Oreo Truffles for dessert!
http://allrecipes.com/recipe/easy-oreo-truffles/detail.aspx?event8=1&prop24=SR_Title&e11=valentine%27s%20day%20dinner&e8=Quick%20Search&event10=1&e13=A%3aSearch%20Results-List%28control%29&e7=Article%20Hub
Ten more great recipes for kids on Valentine's Day here! http://www.parenting.com/gallery/easy-valentines-day-recipes-kids?pnid=132155
Well, if you are staying in for the evening, how about a fun "at home" activity that you can do as a family? Here are some fun ideas:
Cute and creative Valentine's Day cards for your kids to give out. Look at some examples here:
http://spoonful.com/valentines-day/valentines-day-cards
More cute and creative crafts on this website from moms and dads just like you:
http://www.savvymom.ca/index.php/guides/valentines-day
I hope today's ideas will inspire a creative and fun Valentine's Day celebration for you and your family, no matter how you choose to celebrate. The most important thing to remember is, expressing love should not just occur on this day each year. You should show and tell your kids and your family that you love them, every day, each day of the year! Enjoy today, enjoy your week, and enjoy your kids! Chao ya'll!
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Let Your Words Speak "LOVE" the Loudest!
Well, it's February ya'll and you know what that means?! Love is in the air! While the very thought of Valentine's Day and mushy gushy, romantic love may be enough to make you roll your eyes and sigh a large sigh of contempt for a holiday that is focused on roses, cards, gifts, and romantic dinners...never fear! Today, we are going to talk about the kind of love that doesn't need the excuse of Valentine's Day to be used every day in every moment.
I am writing to you about love, not because I want to talk to you about romantic love, but about the kind of love that families share; the adoration and sacrificial love you have for you children; a love that would drive you to lay your life down for your family; a love that is faithful, forgiving, and most of all unconditional for your children and those around you. Love is such an important factor in our lives and in our childrens' lives. Love can be expressed through actions, through gifts, through time spent together, but most of all, through the words you speak everyday, in every moment.
Your children cling to every word you say. They remember these words, they repeat these words, and they learn to speak the same words that you speak. If your words are constantly harsh, demeaning, hateful, and crude, your children will express these same words to themselves, to their peers, and eventually back to you. How horrible it would be if we set an example to our children with words that DO NOT exude love and show how much we care about them and others?
I once read a quote that stated that "children are great imitators. So give them something great to imitate." I'm not sure who said those wise words, but think about it for a moment. Your children are constantly watching and listening to you. They will imitate your actions and imitate your words. Why would you want to give them words and actions that are unloving and unkind to imitate? Doesn't make much sense does it? Your words are a powerful resource for your children. They come to you to hear words of affirmation, words of encouragement, and most of all words of love. Recognize that your words have the capacity to speak 'love' the loudest, but that also means your words have the capacity to speak 'hatred' the loudest as well.
Find a way to practice kind words of love to your children, your spouse or partner, and even to yourself. Learn to be uplifting and encouraging with your words - express positive statements that build your children and others up, and leave unkind words unsaid. Isn't that the golden rule? "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say it at all." This "rule" may seem kind of silly, but really these words are important words to live by. Your children need you to affirm that they are important, that they are special, and that they are loved. Let your words express this love in every moment, even when their behavior is disrespectful or unloving. Find a way to express love through your words even then.
Let your words speak 'love' the loudest this February and Valentine's season. You don't have to celebrate or recognize Valentine's Day to express love through your actions and your words every day. Have a great week and enjoy your kids!
I am writing to you about love, not because I want to talk to you about romantic love, but about the kind of love that families share; the adoration and sacrificial love you have for you children; a love that would drive you to lay your life down for your family; a love that is faithful, forgiving, and most of all unconditional for your children and those around you. Love is such an important factor in our lives and in our childrens' lives. Love can be expressed through actions, through gifts, through time spent together, but most of all, through the words you speak everyday, in every moment.
Your children cling to every word you say. They remember these words, they repeat these words, and they learn to speak the same words that you speak. If your words are constantly harsh, demeaning, hateful, and crude, your children will express these same words to themselves, to their peers, and eventually back to you. How horrible it would be if we set an example to our children with words that DO NOT exude love and show how much we care about them and others?
I once read a quote that stated that "children are great imitators. So give them something great to imitate." I'm not sure who said those wise words, but think about it for a moment. Your children are constantly watching and listening to you. They will imitate your actions and imitate your words. Why would you want to give them words and actions that are unloving and unkind to imitate? Doesn't make much sense does it? Your words are a powerful resource for your children. They come to you to hear words of affirmation, words of encouragement, and most of all words of love. Recognize that your words have the capacity to speak 'love' the loudest, but that also means your words have the capacity to speak 'hatred' the loudest as well.
Find a way to practice kind words of love to your children, your spouse or partner, and even to yourself. Learn to be uplifting and encouraging with your words - express positive statements that build your children and others up, and leave unkind words unsaid. Isn't that the golden rule? "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say it at all." This "rule" may seem kind of silly, but really these words are important words to live by. Your children need you to affirm that they are important, that they are special, and that they are loved. Let your words express this love in every moment, even when their behavior is disrespectful or unloving. Find a way to express love through your words even then.
Let your words speak 'love' the loudest this February and Valentine's season. You don't have to celebrate or recognize Valentine's Day to express love through your actions and your words every day. Have a great week and enjoy your kids!
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