Today's blog topic is extremely important and can be somewhat daunting to take hold of and incorporate into your daily lives. We all have them, we all grew up with them - family values. All families are different and many families' values are different. However, the most important thing to remember is that establishing family values for your family is extremely important for the health and development of your children. It is also very instrumental in establishing family norms and healthy relationships both inside and outside of the family.
The concept of "family values" can often be described as political and social beliefs that hold the nuclear family as a unit of society (Wikipedia.org). Sound confusing? I think so. Merriam-Webster's online dictionary defines "family values" as "values especially of a traditional or conservative
kind which are held to promote the sound functioning of the family and
to strengthen the fabric of society." This definition is a little more clear. Basically, family values can be considered the moral code by which you and your family operate; what you believe; how your kids behave; what you treat as right and wrong; and overall how your family operates in society.
Still confusing? Well, a family value is something you and your family define for yourselves. Respect can be a family value. You respect the opinions of your children, but they must be respectful to you because you are the parent and authority. You and your children are in turn, respectful to others in society. This is a family value - a pretty good one, I might add. Another example? The schooling of your children. Your family may value a homeschooled education, or a private school education. Your family might feel that public schools are the best education your children can receive. Or, your family value might be that no matter what type of education your children are getting, the important thing is to work hard in your education and learn all that you can. This is an example where a family value might vary, and none of these values about education are wrong - they are just different depending on the family.
Family values also involve establishing right from wrong; moral verses immoral behaviors; your religious or non-religious beliefs; how you treat others; honesty; forgiveness; traditions, etc. They are rules and ideals that you and your family agree to live by. While these may seem mundane, or that you already have them established by default, remember that it is very important to make sure that you have routine family values that you and your children are both aware of. If every family member can agree on and work toward your family's set of values, this will make for a happier home with better inter-family relationships. These values establish an understanding of what is expected by each family member and allow for children to be nurtured along in these values by parents who are also striving to maintain the same family value while parenting. Values create a mutual understanding among everyone and help kids to develop psychologically, mentally, and even physically.
Here is an excellent link to an article about defining family values: http://www.parentiq.com/news/definingyourfamilyvalues.asp
Parenting can be difficult, but establishing a set of family values can help you along. When these values are established as a norm, you have a bar set for some of the ways in which you parent. These rules, ideals, and traditions help to define your family and can help to define your parenting as well.
Remember, family values must be positive, not negative and be emphasized around love and caring for one another. Enjoy your week and enjoy your kids!
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Ringing in Spring!
Well, it's the beginning of Spring...that means warmer weather, clear skies, and of course....tornadoes here in Oklahoma! However, in between the tornadoes and hopefully rain, we will begin to see glimpses and days of warm weather and beautiful sunshine. I don't know about you all, but I start to get excited for all the Spring activities and outside adventures to be had as the warmer weather starts to come around the corner.
So, let's start to think about ringing in spring and how to gear up for being active with your kids this spring and summer. It is so important that you encourage your children to spend time outdoors as the weather permits. Being outside means they are running around, breathing fresh air, and just generally learning to entertain themselves. This is not only great for their health and development, but provides an opportunity for you as a parent to be outside as well.
Though the weather may be touch and go for the next couple of weeks, when you can take the opportunities to go outside with your family and do something active. A healthy lifestyle is so important, and one of the first steps to being healthy is getting outside and moving around, breathing clean air, and getting your heart rate up - a simple evening or lunch time walk with your family will do the trick. Plus, if your children are outside playing hard, they may sleep better at night then if they sat inside all day playing video games, watching TV, or laying around on the couch. Encourage your family to play outside more as spring makes its first approach.
Plus, there is a TON to do outside in the Oklahoma City Metro area. Below, I have included the link to the OKC Parks Guide. This guide is full of outside activities at the Bricktown Canal, the Myraid Botanical Gardens, the Martin Park Nature Center, and lists many of the lakes and swimming pools in the area: http://www.okc.gov/parks/documents/2011parksguidelowfinal.pdf
Parks are a great way to entertain your family, while being in the outdoors.
Here's another great link with 50 FREE activities in the Metro area. Some are indoors, but most are outdoors and all of them are FREE and a ton of fun: http://www.travelok.com/article_page/50-free-things-to-do-in-oklahoma
This article is for the big adventurers in the group. It outlines 17 ideas for spring and summer activities with your kids. It includes everything from horseback riding, hiking and rock hopping, to exploring nature trails and state parks all over the state of Oklahoma: http://www.travelok.com/article_page/outandaboutwiththekids
Here is a small list from FamilyFriendlyAmerica.com, that includes a few activities to do all over the state of Oklahoma: http://www.familyfriendlyamerica.com/oklahoma.html
And of course, Metro Family Magazine offers a weekly and monthly calendar of both paid and FREE events that are constantly going on in the Metro area and beyond. We post this calendar every Friday with the weekend activities, however here is a direct link to the Metro Family Magazine calendar: www.metrofamilymagazine.com/Calendar
I hope each of you are able to find activities among these resources that will appeal to you and your families. Be sure to keep an eye out on the Family Builders' Facebook and Twitter pages (@fambuildersok) for more family-friendly spring and summer activities. Enjoy your week and enjoy your kids!
So, let's start to think about ringing in spring and how to gear up for being active with your kids this spring and summer. It is so important that you encourage your children to spend time outdoors as the weather permits. Being outside means they are running around, breathing fresh air, and just generally learning to entertain themselves. This is not only great for their health and development, but provides an opportunity for you as a parent to be outside as well.
Though the weather may be touch and go for the next couple of weeks, when you can take the opportunities to go outside with your family and do something active. A healthy lifestyle is so important, and one of the first steps to being healthy is getting outside and moving around, breathing clean air, and getting your heart rate up - a simple evening or lunch time walk with your family will do the trick. Plus, if your children are outside playing hard, they may sleep better at night then if they sat inside all day playing video games, watching TV, or laying around on the couch. Encourage your family to play outside more as spring makes its first approach.
Plus, there is a TON to do outside in the Oklahoma City Metro area. Below, I have included the link to the OKC Parks Guide. This guide is full of outside activities at the Bricktown Canal, the Myraid Botanical Gardens, the Martin Park Nature Center, and lists many of the lakes and swimming pools in the area: http://www.okc.gov/parks/documents/2011parksguidelowfinal.pdf
Parks are a great way to entertain your family, while being in the outdoors.
Here's another great link with 50 FREE activities in the Metro area. Some are indoors, but most are outdoors and all of them are FREE and a ton of fun: http://www.travelok.com/article_page/50-free-things-to-do-in-oklahoma
This article is for the big adventurers in the group. It outlines 17 ideas for spring and summer activities with your kids. It includes everything from horseback riding, hiking and rock hopping, to exploring nature trails and state parks all over the state of Oklahoma: http://www.travelok.com/article_page/outandaboutwiththekids
Here is a small list from FamilyFriendlyAmerica.com, that includes a few activities to do all over the state of Oklahoma: http://www.familyfriendlyamerica.com/oklahoma.html
And of course, Metro Family Magazine offers a weekly and monthly calendar of both paid and FREE events that are constantly going on in the Metro area and beyond. We post this calendar every Friday with the weekend activities, however here is a direct link to the Metro Family Magazine calendar: www.metrofamilymagazine.com/Calendar
I hope each of you are able to find activities among these resources that will appeal to you and your families. Be sure to keep an eye out on the Family Builders' Facebook and Twitter pages (@fambuildersok) for more family-friendly spring and summer activities. Enjoy your week and enjoy your kids!
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Tips for De-stressing - Because Parenting CAN be Stressful!
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So, raise your hand if you are parent. Now, raise your hand if you, at times, find parenting to be stressful. Yep, that's what I thought. I'm sure every single one of you has your hand up. Parenting IS stressful at times, and it has nothing to do with not loving or caring for our children, or not wanting to be a parent.
Let's face it. We love our kids. We want to do everything in our power to give our kids everything they need and then some. We bend over backwards to get them from one activity to another; we money crunch to buy them that new gift for their birthday that they have been longing after; we take the time out of our busy days and lives to talk with them, spend time with them, and be close to them. We love our kids. We love being parents. But......all that love, all that time, and all that money crunching can sometimes be very stressful. And guess what? Stressed out parents can negatively effect our children's attitudes, behaviors, and general morale. So, parents, here are some tips for de-stressing and some resources for learning more:
Remember, as a parent, you need lots of sleep. So do your best to get 8 hours of sleep each night. Eating healthy will also help you to feel better and help you sleep better.
Take walks, whether early in the morning before your day gets started or during the day over lunch. Even just 10 minutes of walking a day is great. Walking will help you to relax, calming your mind while stimulating relaxation. You can also try exercises like yoga or stretching.
Some helpful tips for keeping from stressing over household situations can include being well organized and structuring your day. This doesn't mean taking on a military lifestyle, but instead having a plan in place for what you need to accomplish. Set goals for the day that you know are attainable. An orderly lifestyle will help to keep you stress free. Also, make a budget and stick to it. If you know how your money is being spent, you will better be able to keep track of it and help your kids learn how to spend money wisely as well.
Other de-stressers can be as simple as soaking in a warm bath while your kids are at school. Listen to music that you enjoy while you are driving, cleaning, doing dishes and laundry or other household chores. Calling a close friend or relative to chit-chat with about your parenting stress and exchange ideas. It can also be helpful to join a mom's or dad's group, where the group can share parenting tips, challenges, and ideas. Being connected with other parents, who all have some type of parenting stress, can be the best way to rid yourself of stress.
All of these tips and more can be found at: http://www.baby-toddler-parenting-stepping-stones.com/parent-de-stressing.html
Additionally, here is another great website on helping parents to cope with stress and strategies for success: http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Parenting_coping_with_stress
Remember, it is normal to feel stressed about parenting issues. No parent is stress-free all the time. However, take the time to take care of yourself and practice good actions that will help you to be more stress free. Enjoy the week and enjoy your kids!
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Talk to Your Teens - Open the Lines of Communication
It's a brand new week! I'm sure each of you have a lot planned with children, work, school, projects, shopping for groceries, other household needs, and who knows what else. Your lives are busy and your kids' lives are busy! It may seem like all you do is run, run, run....run, run. Oh, the life of a parent.
However, even with all the hustle and bustle in your life, remember that it is so important to take the time to communicate and spend quality time with your child(ren) each day. Quality time can be something as simple as eating breakfast together, or tucking them in at night and spending a few minutes talking to them about their day before they fall asleep. We have talked about this before: communication with your children is extremely important. It helps with their development and maturity, and encourages them to be open and honest with you.
This is especially important for parents and their teenagers. From my experience, teenagers are the least willing to communicate and spend any type of quality time with their parents. Unfortunately, teenagers often need this quality time, attention, and communication more than we realize. During the teenage years, your children are more apt to spend most of their time outside the home. Whether they are at school, participating in sports or other activities, or hanging out with friends, they generally spend most of their time away from the house. It is so important to take the time each and everyday to share a few minutes with them to just chat, talk, discuss, and share opinions. Ask questions that require your teenager to answer with more than a "yes" or a "no." Encourage them to converse with you.
Take advantage of times when you are in the car together, or standing in line at the supermarket or other stores. Capturing your teenagers time can be difficult, so it is important to take advantage of the small moments that you do have together. Never, ever stop trying to make time to have conversations with them - they may push back, or try to avoid the time, but be gently persistent. They need you as a parent, even if they don't act like it.
Here are some tips from HealthyChildren.org on how to communicate with your teenager.
1. Really listen to them. Let your teenager get his or her thoughts in. Listen and really engage in the conversation with your child. Make them feel as if what they have to say is truly important. Ask questions that prompt more conversation and refrain from giving advice until your child has finished speaking.
2. Look at your teen when the two of you are talking. When your teenager comes to you to talk, stop what you are doing, put down what you are reading, and give them your full attention. This is so important.
3. Don't interrupt. Let your teen have their say. Teach them respect by giving them respect when speaking.
4. Watch your tone - use a respectful one, just like you expect from them.
5. Ask questions that elicit further conversation.
6. Repeatedly reassure your teenager when they come to you with a problem.
7. Keep a watchful eye and notice when your teenager needs to or wants to talk, but doesn't know how to approach you. Know your child's moods and behaviors and this will help you be alert to your child's needs.
To read all of these great tips and more, visit http://bit.ly/165Vd2X
Here are some other great websites that can be excellent resources for helping you to open the lines of communication with your teenagers:
http://bit.ly/p1LtjL
http://bit.ly/12rdcBS
http://bit.ly/IY48Jb
And of course, we here at Family Builders are always willing to lend you a helpful and informative hand. Get in touch with us at www.familybuildersok.org
Have a great week and enjoy your teenagers!
However, even with all the hustle and bustle in your life, remember that it is so important to take the time to communicate and spend quality time with your child(ren) each day. Quality time can be something as simple as eating breakfast together, or tucking them in at night and spending a few minutes talking to them about their day before they fall asleep. We have talked about this before: communication with your children is extremely important. It helps with their development and maturity, and encourages them to be open and honest with you.
This is especially important for parents and their teenagers. From my experience, teenagers are the least willing to communicate and spend any type of quality time with their parents. Unfortunately, teenagers often need this quality time, attention, and communication more than we realize. During the teenage years, your children are more apt to spend most of their time outside the home. Whether they are at school, participating in sports or other activities, or hanging out with friends, they generally spend most of their time away from the house. It is so important to take the time each and everyday to share a few minutes with them to just chat, talk, discuss, and share opinions. Ask questions that require your teenager to answer with more than a "yes" or a "no." Encourage them to converse with you.
Take advantage of times when you are in the car together, or standing in line at the supermarket or other stores. Capturing your teenagers time can be difficult, so it is important to take advantage of the small moments that you do have together. Never, ever stop trying to make time to have conversations with them - they may push back, or try to avoid the time, but be gently persistent. They need you as a parent, even if they don't act like it.
Here are some tips from HealthyChildren.org on how to communicate with your teenager.
1. Really listen to them. Let your teenager get his or her thoughts in. Listen and really engage in the conversation with your child. Make them feel as if what they have to say is truly important. Ask questions that prompt more conversation and refrain from giving advice until your child has finished speaking.
2. Look at your teen when the two of you are talking. When your teenager comes to you to talk, stop what you are doing, put down what you are reading, and give them your full attention. This is so important.
3. Don't interrupt. Let your teen have their say. Teach them respect by giving them respect when speaking.
4. Watch your tone - use a respectful one, just like you expect from them.
5. Ask questions that elicit further conversation.
6. Repeatedly reassure your teenager when they come to you with a problem.
7. Keep a watchful eye and notice when your teenager needs to or wants to talk, but doesn't know how to approach you. Know your child's moods and behaviors and this will help you be alert to your child's needs.
To read all of these great tips and more, visit http://bit.ly/165Vd2X
Here are some other great websites that can be excellent resources for helping you to open the lines of communication with your teenagers:
http://bit.ly/p1LtjL
http://bit.ly/12rdcBS
http://bit.ly/IY48Jb
And of course, we here at Family Builders are always willing to lend you a helpful and informative hand. Get in touch with us at www.familybuildersok.org
Have a great week and enjoy your teenagers!
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